Day 2: Hello, People!

Hello, America. I'm Charlie. Charlie Dean. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the events of last night -- frankly, I'm just trying to focus on all these weird blobs that keep appearing in front of my face -- but whatever, I'm here.

Where'd I come from? Good question. Apparently, there was a stork involved but I'm not entirely sure what a stork is yet so check back later for that explanation. Meantime, I'm mostly just hanging out on my mom's belly, listening to Band of Horses, and occasionally drinking some milk. My dad keeps trying to put Mets gear on me but I'd sorta rather just hang out in these little plastic pants as long as we're not going out in public where I have to see people and, you know, look cool. I even crapped in my pants. I know all you civilized folks tend to go into the bathroom, and I totally get that it's a great place to get some reading done, but I gotta tell you there's something liberating about just crapping in your pants. Just saying.

If anyone out there has some pull with NYU, can you please ask these ladies in the green to stop sticking tiny needles in my feet? It's not awesome.