Day 55: Surprise!

Here's today's bonus picture. I think it speaks for itself.

Day 55: Panda baby

You know it's laundry day when you're forced to wear the panda outfit. Kidding - my Aunt Stephanie bought me this outfit, which is both adorable and a little embarrassing.

I post this knowing full-well it's going to show up some day at my wedding. Then again, maybe I just don't get it. Is there some functionality to having ears on your hat?

Day 54 (late again): Yoga!

Hey, the heat broke! Hooray! I hear more terrible temperatures are coming soon but for now it's pretty great out. I hear this is what California feels like. Hope I can get there some day.

Went to yoga yesterday. This is me in class doing the only pose I know how to do: it's called the Kicking Baby.

Day 53: Bonus picture

Since I forgot to post yesterday - er, I mean, didn't post yesterday - here's a bonus picture of me in a wife beater.

Day 53: Back home

I feel bad when I don't get a picture up for all of my fans, so I'm going to do two quick posts. We're back home and it's about 145 degrees outside. I nearly melted. Luckily there's a noisy magic box in the window that blows cool air out. Otherwise I might have to summer up in Alaska. Speaking of Alaska, I forgot to tell you that yesterday we almost hit a bear. Like, seriously - a bear ran out in front of the car on the way home. It was crazy. I like bears so I'm glad we didn't hit him (or her). Especially since this is the first time I've seen one that wasn't tiny and stuffed. I was beginning to think they were all just soft toys for cuddling. Now I want to cuddle a real bear!

Day 53 (late edition): Bocce anyone?

I'm back from upstate and technical difficulties prevented a post last night. Mostly it was the traffic. I couldn't see a lot from my seat — it's not the best vantage point from where I sit, facing the back of the backseat — but I guess it was a mess on I-80. I took in a little last-minute bocce with my mom and dad and their friends Michael and Tate (that's him up there) before we had to head home. Weird game, that. Just people throwing these balls around trying to hit another ball.

Somehow I managed to go the entire weekend without a bug bite. Must have been my new mosquito-proof clothing.

Day 52: Family portait (with goat)

Hi goat, how's your mother? That's a couple of babies there — I'm the one without the hooves; he's the one who isn't wearing very small cargo shorts. Today was a good day for most of the day until the USA team lost, and then it was crappy. Why did that have to happen? I guess life isn't fair sometimes. I mean, just to put things in perspective: our friends bought some food for lunch at the farm. They bought goat burgers. When you look at it that way, losing a soccer match isn't so bad, even if it makes my dad very upset.

Day 51: Hello, Narrowsburg!

They just keep moving me around, as if I'm in witness protection. Wait - I'm not, am I? Yesterday was New Paltz, a great place to buy rain catchers, or to get your chakra aligned. Today is Narrowsburg, and there's a river in my backyard. Also lots of bugs. Bugs suck!

I've got to get to bed because there's a big game tomorrow. Also it's way past my bed-time. Time to get swaddled!

Day 50: Halfway there!

Wow, 50 days. That's half-way to 100, which is some arbitrary number I picked at the beginning because it seemed kinda infinite. I figured it would take years to get there. But here we are, halfway. Time is flying.

I'm upstate again. My dad had some weird business to do — first he went running around up some hills in weather so hot that it looked like I peed myself even though I didn't. I swear, mom, I didn't! Is this what sweat is? Anyway, now he's off hanging out with dogs with weird haircuts again. So I took the opportunity to go the beach for a bit, to get some sun. It was a nice lake but if I were filling out a comment card for these people I'd tell them that there beach would be like 1000 percent better if the beach wasn't made out of rocks.

Day 49: I'm good luck!

This morning my dad and I got up and got dressed in matching red, white and blue outfits for the big game. And wow what a game that was. While my dad was off making a fool of himself somewhere mom and I went to a local bar and high-fived some strangers. I like to think that I was good luck.

Day 48: Is this thing on?

So my Grandma Miles asked me if I was trying to compete with that eTrade baby. I guess that's sort of flattering in that that kid seems smart, only he's really just an actor. I'm for real. I only mention this because this picture sort of has the look of one of those commercials, with the ghostly light of the screen. I was trying here to order myself a hot tub on eBay while mom was talking to someone but it's hard to type or move the mouse because i can't make my hands move where I want them to and so really I just started at the pretty bright light. I can hold my head up now — I think you call this neck control — and it's only a matter of time until I figure out these wobbly legs. Okay, I gotta go get myself a class of milk, hold the glass.

Day 47: The view from space

This is how I look when viewed from space, or at least from way up there in the atmosphere, where you giants live when you're standing up. I wonder if clouds ever obstruct. Do you worry that planes might bump into your head?

It is still very hot here in this place where I live. Outside it's so hot that it almost feels like room temperature in that dark room I used to live in. My mom took me to this fitness class in the park and I have to say it was really easy. I mostly slept. But my back got sweaty. Tomorrow I think maybe I won't wear a shirt.

Day 46: About this heat

This is how you make me feel, hot summer days. You are gross and sweaty. Now please go away.

Day 46: Happy Father's Day

I know it's scientifically possible that I could have been created by scientists without your involvement but it would have been hard, and very expensive, so thanks for your help. I hope you still love me even if I don't play in the World Cup someday.

Day 45: Late again

I'm sorry - I'm late again. It's becoming a habit, and I'm sorry. I promise to have something new today — on time! — but this will have to do until then, because I need to go out for some brunch. While my dad was off acting like a lunatic wearing flag-y things, I watched the USA game over at my friend Max's place. That's him. He's a good kid, and much less menacing now that he's not eating my forehead. He's even doing this crazy thing where he stands up and uses his legs to move around. I can kinda straighten mine and stand, if someone helps me from falling over backwards that is, but mostly my legs just flop around like a couple of goldfish regretting their decision to escape the bowl.

Day 44: We wuz robbed!

I haven't been to many other countries yet. Okay, I haven't been to any other countries yet. But I did go to Maryland once, and even drove through New Jersey and I'm pretty sure America is the best country of all. So I was so proud of those fellas today when they nearly beat that team of Charlie Browns with weird haircuts only to have that mean old man with the whistle ruin it for everybody. Here I am reacting to the call. I know you probably feel the same way.

In other news, my Grandma Anne is making a surprise appearance tonight. Well, it's not exactly a surprise, because I know about it, but I didn't know about it as recently as yesterday, so it's sort of a surprise. I hope she brings me something nice. Like a win over Algeria.

Day 43 (belated version): Oops

It's hard blogging every day, especially when you can't talk, or type. Basically you're depending on the slave labor of some other guy who tends to get distracted by a bunch of blurry spots running around on this shiny box in the corner. I'll crack the whip harder in the future and try to avoid such problems in the future.

Meanwhile, check out my foot. Too fast for film! Wait until I'm on my feet; it'll be like a real life version of the Road Runner.

Day 42: Happy day!

So I probably don't need to tell you this but today is my sixth (week) birthday. These weeks are just flying by. It seems like just yesterday I was living in this tiny, pitch black swimming pool — a heated pool! — and everyone sounded like they were talking with socks on their heads. Also sometimes I was right-side up, and other times I was upside down. A couple of times I was even sideways. That was weird. And now here I am, as old as 42 generations of Mayflies and way older than the administration of David Cameron.

I don't want to leap to conclusions but I think maybe my sixth (week) birthday is an official national holiday and there's no mail delivery because I didn't get any gifts in the mail. There's always next week.

Happy birthday to me!

Day 42: Cual es tu problema?!

Since the World Cup started, dad and I have been getting up early for the first game while mom sleeps in a little. I guess she doesn't sleep all that well at night. Wonder why that could be? Anyway, I'm really getting into this tournament of guys running around kicking that little ball, and also all the horn honking. I like honking! I don't know a lot about this soccer or football or whatever you call it but I have to say that I'm a little disappointed in Spain. I picked them to win this thing and they go and lose to Switzerland. Isn't it against the law for the Swiss to win things? I thought they were legally bound to tie. And also to wear long woolen red coats and curly toed shoes.

Day 41: Check this out

I'm official! I have a yoga/swimming pool ID, which I think means I can rent cars, travel abroad and also use the elliptical machines, if only I could stand on my own. Turns out I also have a social security card, so please old people don't spend all the money before I get there.

Day 40: Back to the doctor

Today had its ups and downs. On the plus side, I had my 6-week check-up, even though I'm not quite 6 weeks. And I hate to brag but my results were pretty awesome. I'm now 23 inches long, which is apparently in the 95th percentile for length - or height, as you strangely upright people like to say. I've also put on a little weight and when I see this photo I think it's starting to show in my thighs. I might have to start wearing pants in public. I weigh 11 pounds, 10 ounces, and that's in the 75th percentile. Personally, 75% doesn't sound that great. It's like a C in school, but I guess when it comes to a tiny human's weight it's a good thing. On the minus side, this lady came in being all nice and friendly and telling me how cute I was and just when I wasn't expecting it she jabbed me with some sharp thing and, well, I'm just gonna say it: it sucked. I hated it. If that's going to happen every time I visit this "doctor" I'm not falling for the cute wallpaper and friendly staff. It's not even worth it for the purple Sesame Street Band-Aid.

You might notice I'm holding on to some sort of plush creature up there. He looks frightened but I promise I wasn't hurting him. He was lying in my bed and I accidentally picked him up when my arms were flailing around. Then I couldn't figure out how to put him down so I just sort of held him there against his will, both of us looking a little confused and uncomfortable. Eventually, my arms un-tensed and he was freed. I'm sorry, blue monster. I'm not in control of these arms just yet.

Day 39: Tummy Time

Apparently I'm supposed to start chilling on my belly now and again, especially since I can pick my head up pretty easily, and even push up on my arms. So far, though, this "tummy time" isn't all that exciting. Maybe in a couple weeks I'll find all those colors and shapes and mirrows and bells and sheep dangling from strings interesting but right now I think I'll just take a nap on this red pillow.

Day 38: USA!

Apologies for not updating yesterday. I was a little preoccupied, as you can see from my outfit. I went to this gigantic room full of loud people singing songs and I have to say, that was the sporting highlight of my 38-day-old life. (Though if I'm being honest here, I slept through a lot of it.) I sorta thought that a tie wasn't all that great of an accomplishment but I guess I never really watched soccer before. Anyway, I can't wait for the next game on Friday!

Day 37: USA!

Look how excited I am about tomorrow's game! Actually, I'm just excited in general. I'm pretty sure I've got this smiling now, thanks to some practice mom and I had this afternoon. When people make the right funny faces at me, I make this funny face back, and then they make more funny faces and it's this whole crazy circle of giggles and smiles. Or maybe just smiles. I can't giggle yet. Yet.

Day 36: A closer look

Upon further reflection I don't want to take this newt home at all. He's cute and probably has a little baby newt back home that he'd miss.