Day 85: Baby in blue robe

One of the worst parts of bath-time is when bath-time is over, because that's when whoever's overseeing the bath takes me out of the warm water and into the cold air. That part sucks. Like, really sucks. If you have stood anywhere near the bathroom when this transition takes place, you're probably well aware of how I feel on this matter. Luckily, I have some nice terrycloth robes to put on - and they have hoods, just like the ones boxers wear. This one's blue, obviously. I don't know why I felt it necessary to point that out.

Day 85: Still life with monkeys (and bears)

This is one of my favorite places to nap, right here on this shoulder, in front of all those monkeys and bears. Sometimes when I'm sleeping I guess I do look a little like Ziggy. Also, I clearly need to work on my tan.

Day 84: But we love them anyway!

Yay Mets!

Day 84: Catching up on the news

Some mornings I like to read the paper with my dad. I don't totally know what all those tiny little symbols mean, and if you ask me, the pictures would be in color, and they would dangle from little strings and rattle or squeak when you touched them, but I guess no one asked me. If I'm not mistaken, we are reading the sports page here - quite possibly yet another sad story about the Mets. Oh, the Mets. They like to torture us, those little people in orange and blue.

Day 83: See what I mean?

Another self-referential cute baby shirt. People are going to start thinking my head is swollen and not just chubby!

Day 82: It should go without saying

People keep putting shirts on me with slogans about how cute I am. I think that sort of speaks for itself, but I don't get much of a vote on my wardrobe so I just smile and endure.

I can't totally explain what's going on here with my face either but I think this is my look of concern.

Day 81: Does this blanket make me look fat?

Someone once told me - never let anyone take your picture from below. Now I know why. This picture makes it look like I have a double chin. I guess I kind of do sometimes, but only because I still have my baby fat. That's not my fault! I grow slower long-ways, so parts of me get chubby like my turkey legs. Also it's funny because I'm sticking out my tongue here but because of the photo quality it looks like I have big Rolling Stones album cover lips.

Day 80: That baby has a lot of hair!

Well, hello there tiny furry thing! I hope someday I have as much hair as you. Except maybe not on my back. That's kind of weird. Supposedly this is a baby cat, also known as a kitten. His name is Forest because they found him in the woods. I wonder if my parents found me in the woods, or maybe just in a basket on someone's doorstep. That's where babies seem to come from on TV. Forest was a nice guy, and so good at moving around. How did he get so mobile?! I'm wiggling as fast as I can and still I don't get anywhere.

Day 79: Who needs a nap?

Yesterday I spent some quality time with my dad. Mom had to get her haircut and it was the longest haircut in the history of haircuts. YOu could have cut the hair of every person in Brooklyn in the time it took her to get her her cut. Or colored. Or cut and colored. Whatever. Meanwhile, my dad said he would play with me and then get some work done during my naps. Ha! What nap? Napping is boring! Eventually, he put me in the stroller and we went to Target because apparently he thinks the stroller always puts me to sleep. And usually it does. But when we got to Target he peeked in under the hood and -- surprise! -- not sleeping in here, people. This is the face I made.

Day 78: Brooklyn represent!

That's what I'm supposed to yell, right? Because I'm representing right now, in this sweet heather gray Brooklyn onesie. Heather gray is my mom's favorite color. I think she's the first person ever to choose it. I like all the colors. Especially the bright ones! I also like light fixtures, ceilings, things made out of wood and anything that sways in the wind. My dislikes include: vaccinations, cold water, 100 degree NYC summer days, and being hungry. Man do I hate being hungry. Food is the best!

Day 77: Beer garden?

Last night we went across the street to something called a beer garden. I guess that's where old people grow beer. Mostly it looked like a sidewalk with melted gum on it and some wobbly tables that make it hard to keep your beer from spilling.

That guy in the background is totally ripping off my haircut.

My bouncy bouncy friend Susie held me on her lap at a great pizza place in a bad neighborhood called Roberta's. If I look a little grouchy it's because it was so crazy hot I asked to please be moved inside for the rest of dinner.

This woman Erin has a sweet blowup POOL in her backyard! We are going to go back there this weekend except there is no way I'm getting in it because it's straight up freezing and only crazy people like sitting in cold water. My mom stuck my feet in it last weekend and I had to give her an earful.

Our friend Gael is making my mom and dad's wedding rings. They said something about making me legit in a few weeks, which I don't understand. I'm already 2 Legit 2 Quit.

Graciella here comes to our place sometimes to help my parents keep things clean, but when she comes these days she spends all her time kissing me and makes her husband do the work part.

This one here is Lauren, she works with my mom. She just met me but I think she loves me already.

A Shout Out to All My Fans

I mean, where would I be without my fans? Just some nobody baby, working at the paint store like Lee DeWyze and living in my grandma's basement and dreaming about girls. But it turns out, the ladies love me. So here's a big virtual hug back to all those pretty ones who gave me cuddles this week! Love to y'all, seriously. This one here is Amelia, who claims to be my #1 fan! Oh really, where's my 'zine, Amelia??

Day 76: In praise of cat naps

My mom is always talking about how I don't like to take naps during the day. But that's not totally true. I enjoy naps as much as the next baby - I just don't like to stay asleep long. The way I see it, cats have the right idea. They get lots of little sleeps, and still manage to be awake enough of the time that they don't miss anything. Because I don't want to miss anything.

Okay, I need a nap.

Day 75: Sitting up

As much as I enjoy lying on my back and wiggling around like a fish, I'm starting to get the hang of this sitting up business -- it's a whole new perspective on the world. I still need a little support, but not much. Give me a couple weeks and I'll be able to do this on my own. By September, I figure I'll be driving.

Day 74: More beach

I didn't have any new pictures to post today so I chose another one from the beach. That lady in the green chair is totally blocking my view of the surf. Not that I can see the water much here from this perspective. Hey mom: if I'm in the shade why do I need to wear this fisherman's hat?

Day 73: The beach

This New York City place sure is big. In addition to parks and big buildings and endless sidewalks that smell like pee, it has beaches! Who knew? Yesterday in the after lunch part of the day we drove to the beach and I caught some rays - sort of, if you can catch rays in the shade. I didn't get in the water because it seemed cold. Also, I can't swim.

Are those people nude back there? Not that I have a problem with that.

Day 72: My Dad Rules

My dad was watching soccer and he wanted me to watch it with him but I just wanted to squish up in the crook of his arm and sleep. He said that was fine. He didn't even get mad that I cut my t-shirt into a crop top earlier when I was at the baby pool with my mom.

I'm still confused about the dates but I'm pretty sure we're back on schedule now. What's a date anyway? Just some numbers on a grid.

DAy 71: Bouncy, Bouncy!

My mom's friend Susie came over last night and she did this thing with me on her knees and sang this song that went "Bouncy, Bouncy!" over and over. I cannot exactly explain why but it was hilarious.

Day 71: A Sneaky Trick

I overheard the big people saying that riding around in motor vehicles was a great way to make babies go to sleep, but they don't know my resilience! I can stay awake for as long as I want, whenever I want! I decided to prove it to them during my next car ride. See, I'm awake and alert and...Ok, maybe I'll prove it next car ride. Goodnight.

Day 71: Now I Just Need a Beer

My mom told me I could no longer complain about the heat. She said that she didn't want to raise a whiner, but I said I don't like that drink like she does. I'm a milk guy through and through. So it's official: I hate the heat, but won't mention anymore. Well, for at least a week. Anyway, this photo of me made my parents laugh, even though I was just innocently taking a poolside nap and really can't see what's so funny about it.

Day 71: Trying to beat the heat

Man is it hot. It's so hot that all I can do is lie around and do nothing. I know it looks like I'm sunbathing here but I'm in the shade. I was thinking about getting in that pool back there but the water was kind of cold, at least for a guy who does most of his swimming in the bath.

I think maybe I'm a day behind at this point so it's possible this day 71 shot should be from day 72, so after my assistant does the math I might have to post another photo for today and this will have been a momentary stop in the future. Or something.

Okay, I need a snack.

Day 70: Back home in the BK

Finally, we're all back home. My dad disappeared there for a few days and I wasn't sure what happened. But when we got home he showed up a few hours later, so that's good. I guess he was in some place called Minnesota. I don't know where that is but it might be over near Jersey. The only bummer about being home is that it's gross and hot again and the sidewalks smell like my old diapers.

I'm still rocking my USA soccer onesie in tribute. I hope it still fits in 2014 for our trip to Brazil.

Day 69: Hooray!

Why am I so excited? I'm not even sure. I just am!

It's not because today is my last day in Florida. That part is sad - people are so nice to me here and I get even more cuddles than normal.

I promise to be good on my flight tomorrow. Mom doesn't have any help this time, so it seems like the right thing to do.

Day 68 (Very late edition): Chillin' with the grandparents

Life is good in Florida, if you can get past the heat. The upside is that no one cares if you just hang around in your bathing suit. My grandparents sure don't mind, as you can see.

I think my base tan is looking pretty sweet.

Day 67: Twiddling my thumbs

Another mellow day in the swampy heat. We left record highs in New York and arrived to find record highs here in Florida. But it's nice and cool inside and life is pretty easy. This is me taking in some CSPAN. Those squawking heads really get me thinking about the best ways to balance the budget.