I'm hearing a lot of talk about something called Christmas. I guess it's a religious holiday where some baby named Jesus got dropped down the chimney by a fat guy in a red suit who flies around on a sled pulled by deer. Once there, he was raised under an old pine tree covered in crude ornaments and artificial lights by three magicians and an old donkey. Now we celebrate this day by buying each other toys and socks. There are some parts of this story that I find highly implausible but I'm the first to admit that my education is pretty limited at this point so I'm probably not the best person to question the story's veracity. So bring it on, Santa. I have my own tree here just waiting for gifts.
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