So get this, the one they call mom put this stupid hat on me and the other guy carried me out through some sort of magic portal into a whole new region of my kingdom — it's known as my "yard" and it's awesome. As soon as I figure out how to do use these stubby pale things sprouting from my lower abdomen for something other than kicking people while my plastic pants are replaced, I will totally rule this thing. I've already got a spot picked out for the hot tub.
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