Days 208-209: Is that beard real?

I met this guy "Santa" the other day. Allegedly he flies around the world on a sled pulled by some sort of deer and then tumbles down the chimney with a sack full of presents. That is, when he's not hanging out in a beer hall in Brooklyn on a random Sunday. Don't get me wrong, I am fully in favor of a jolly man bringing me gifts - or anyone bringing me gifts, for that matter - but I am not sure how this works if you don't have a working chimney. Or if your fireplace is full of plants, like mine. I also seriously doubt that beard is real. I'm going to tug on it and check.